For a Million Dollars- What is Love?

What is love? It has always been a common question. We as humans long for a significant other. Being lonely is not a great option to be in life. But the trick is- knowing what or who to look for in this life to share the rest of your life. When I was little girl, wanting or liking a boy was nice. It was nice to think another boy was really cute, funny, and kind. Wow all the butterflies in the stomach one gets when knowing about spending time or that first kiss with the boy. When I thought of my first kiss, I wanted it to be with someone I really had ‘feelings’ for and well someone who was going to have a relationship with for a long time. Later in my teen years, my first kiss was a sloppy one and the boyfriend only lasted a month! Still none-the-less it is simply nice to think with that innocence and perfection. There are relationships where a couple were each others ‘first’ in all senses and have been together for all their lives. While many other people have other stories to tell that are not of love lasting a life time.

For most finding that special someone is a main goal in life. Personally, just living my life and enjoying it in all sense is not that bad at all. Love can be experience through many people in your life. Of course a romantic love is not the same as love of a family or a friend. Usually I would know people that being without a girlfriend or a boyfriend was a bad and depressing time for them. The romantic slow songs always talk about how much love exists, needing one another, missing someone, and even hurting. For sure there is a lot involve in loving; a lot of emotions and even effort. The phrase of ‘the other half’ is used to address the people in a relationship. For most the ‘love of their life’ means having someone in their lives that completes them. The senses of needing, depending, and I guess the company more than anything means to love someone.

Lately I have been more aware of people who seem to be totally ok; going through their youth and later years without having someone by their side. It is rare to talk about not wanting to marry or even have a relationship. I think knowing what love is or being ‘in loving’ with someone does entail many aspects of emotions and decisions. It sure helps if one knows oneself, knows what one wants in life, and/or a purpose. Now and again, I see people who tend to ‘love’ someone that tells them what to do in life. Or some just ‘love’ someone who is just attractive and don’t really care about their personality or attitudes in life. It has been interesting to ponder the question of ‘what is love?’, because even I have noticed how my own answers have changed. Love does not signify having a simple attraction to looks or being an insincere relationship. I know that love does involve some physical attraction, then understanding, and also varied emotions. Love can be about adjusting to their company, complementing each other, and knowing that not everything is perfect all the time. That many experiences could be shared and be used to grow as better people.

-RA

Miwa Yanagi’s Art & Denise Chavez’s Novel

Last week, I had the pleasure of reading through Denise Chavez’s Novel, “Loving Pedro Infante” and attending a lecture at the MFAH that discussed Miwa Yanagi’s insightful art. What a week! I was catapulted into a world of reality, where women all too often make men the center of their world (as is the case with Tere, the main character in Chavez’s novel) or try to become what society mandates, thus losing indiviuality and natural beauty.

In Miwa Yanagi’s Elevator Girls, all the girls look the same. They are all beautifully polished, and look almost fake. the image makes me think of the increased popularity of plastic surgery among women. Society is constantly praising a certain look and all the meanwhile, women are beginning to conform more and more. I wonder, will everyone look like elevator girls in a few more years?

In Denise Chavez’s novel, Tere, the main character is obssessed with Pedro Infante and old cinema. She preoccupies herself by fantasizing about novela-like romances, until she finally gets one in real life. She becomes a mistress to a man who fits the role that Pedro Infante played so many times. He is unloyal and aloof. Reading the novel made me realize that novelas, love stories, movies, all seem to dictate what a woman should look for in a romance. Similar to plastic surgery, these fantasies, for lack of a better word, have affected women’s thoughts and behaviors, deeming it unacceptable to engage in a relationship that does not resemble the ones seen on the silver screen.

It saddens me to think that this is the future women have to look forward to. Carrbon copy bodies, faces, and romances.

LG

Madres e hijas latinas!

 

In today’s views of relationships, by now seems that we all know they take effort. A specific relationship that I am referring to is the mother-daughter in the Latino culture. From personal experience, my mother has shaped some or maybe even most of my views of life. It does not always happen that the mother shapes any of the ways of their daughter’s life. When I talked to my professor about the writing for the Latino Sexuality project, our conversation went over some issues that Latina women can face living in the U.S.

There are special bonds in life, and one that I can truly relate is the bond that I have with my mother. From the conversation we discussed how a mother can be matriarch of the house for better or for worse of the family. We talked about one situation of a family where the mother was single with two girls. The two girls grew up to be completely different. One daughter very conservative and reserved covered up with her clothing and the other very flirty and well she became a stripper. How different the two young women from the same house, the one that became the stripper was closer to her mother, the other that was very reserve was not. The single mother did bring different guys to her house. So one conservative girl seemed that she had be what her mother was not.

A lot of the writing that I will do, could be in comparison to my own experience and learning to what is perceive about Latina women when it comes to dealing with control over their daughters. There in the end I have narrowed my project to exploring the saying or thoughts that happen in Latino homes, ‘if you’re not home you’re having sex.’ This thoughts or sayings go back to a young Latina living at home with her parents, and what issues can arise if she is not at home. Being at home to most parents deals with control and knowing how she is doing. In this project, I can explore the influence of the bond of the mother-daughter relationship and how the daughter will react to the control from her home.

 

-RA