After watcihng the movie “dopamine”, I began to think about the nature of love. In the movie, the main male character doesn’t believe in love, he only believes in the chemical aspect of physical attraction. Towards the ned of the movie, however, he ends up falling in love, proving to himself that love is more than a mere chemical reaction.According to the movie, love is what sets humans apart from animals.
LG
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails. —I Corinthians
This piece of poetry describes the exact characteristics of real love. These qualities can be found in all truly loving relationships. The problem is actually with trying to search “love” in our daily lives. It is often found that most of us don’t look for these characteristics in a person. Instead, we look at physical appearance, wealth and fame. These are not the qualities of true love.
What is real love?
Real love could be said to extend beyond mere infatuation or crush which individuals develop at some point in time. It is a concept which encompasses the feeling of ‘infatuation’ and requires a higher degree of understanding and application!
A few things could be said to define a loose definition for real love although it may vary from one individual to another.
It is about the right person
Real love could be said to be about finding the right person. In other words, falling in love may not be real love. For your likes and dislikes may not align with your ‘other half’. As a result, one could say that real love is finding the right person in which case there is a kind of equilibrium between the two individuals.
Knowing the other person
Real love requires a good and thorough understanding of the opposite person you are getting involved with. This is a tad different from the ‘falling in love’ and getting carried away. Such feelings diffuse after a while and it boils to the compatibility aspect between two individuals.
Knowing about the person’s personality and character are so important. To identify the characteristics you could look at the aspects which draw you to a guy or a girl. If the list is long then you know that you know a lot about him /her and if the list is short then probably you need to know the person a bit more! This aspect would surface a quintessential one with regard to the sustenance of relationship. So if you were to get into a relationship with someone, it is always better to know him better!
Real Love isn’t sex
It would be fair to say that sex is a part of the whole experience called ‘real love’. But to identify sex as a determinant would be a miscalculation as this aspect is momentary in nature. As time goes by, this aspect too would lose steam and what would remain is the foundation- that of understanding and appreciating each other’s emotions.
Love is a commitment.
Although feelings will accompany love, and although sex will be a part of marriage, a lasting, you cannot base a healthy relationship on these things. In the long and winding journey of life, infatuation, sex and other such details will slowly vaporize and all that would be left in the relationship is commitment and understanding between the partners.
There are several other factors which could go into the definition of ‘real love’ but then again they would vary from person to person!
Taken from http://love.ygoy.com/love-basics/index.php.
So, according to this article love exists. My question is whether love exists in the same form across cultures. It is my belief that love differs from culture to culture.
LG
Denise Chavez, “la Tere”, “la Wirms” y yo, enamoradas de Pedrito Infante.
Las palabras no alcanzarían para describir porque nosotras, como millones de mexicanas, estamos enamoradas del famoso Pedrito. En pocas palabras tendríamos que decir que porque no es el solo el típico hombre macho mexicano sino mucho, muchísimo más. En todas sus películas es más que ese macho “malo”, es el generoso y “bueno”. Es un hombre hecho y derecho, no el típico tranza. Es el trabajador, no el flojote. Es el tierno, detallista y dulce con las mujeres, no solo el típico Don Juan de quinta categoría. Es no el “feo, fuerte y formal” sino el “guapo, fuerte y formal”. En fin podríamos decir que es el HOMBRE IDEAL, o no lo creen ustedes así? Perdón a todos los novios y maridos !
Les dejo estas fotos para su deleite:
Formal
Fuerte y GGGGUUUUUUAAAAAPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
En la actualidad al oir hablar de una mujer mestiza lo primero que se me viene a la mente es una mujer con ancestros de razas mezcladas, en su mayoría de Europeos con Indígenas Americanos. Aunque muchas mujeres mestizas todavía viven en comunidades rurales y a veces en condiciones precarias y con una educación muy básica, yo las percibo como mujeres muy trabajadoras con deseos de superarse y aprovechar al máximo las ventajas que les pueden dar sus dos raíces.
Ubicandonos completamente en territorio de los Estados Unidos
de América encontramos a las mujeres chicanas que representan a las mujeres Méxicano-Americanas. Podríamos decir que algunas mujeres chicanas sufren mucho a consecuencia de conflictos con su identidad, ya que a veces no se sienten completamente mexicanas pero tampoco se identifican completamente como americanas. Sin embargo, para otras chicanas, sus dos raíces son motivo de orgullo y tartan de expresarlo, por ejemplo, combinando palabras de ambos idiomas ( inglés y español ) en una sola lengua, al igual que su ropa, festividades y demás asuntos culturales.
Cuando de mujeres hispanas o latinas se trata, (que pueden o no haber nacido en territorio de los E.U.A. o quizá haber emigrado de algún país Latinoamericano ) viviendo en una ciudad con un alto porcentaje de habitantes hispanos, entre los que yo me cuento, me enorgullece mucho el ser testigo de los esfuerzos que hacemos para salir adelante económica, educacional y culturalmente. Como comunidad debemos buscar dejar atrás el estereotipo de la mujer humilde, que solo habla español y quizá un poquito de mal inglés, con educación básica y por ende un trabajo de bajo nivel. Ultimamente hemos tenido algunos éxitos notorios gracias a la difusion de los medios de comunicación como la T.V. y el cine con actrices que no solo hacen papeles de sirvienta, sino como Salma Hayek en “Frida” ( pintora famosa Frida Kahlo), Eva Méndez en “Playboy” ( nombrada como una de las mujeres más bellas de E.U.A.) o Eva Longoria en “Desperate Housewifes” ( rica mujer de alta sociedad ).
Madres Hispanas
Hablar de las mamas hispanas es un tema muy interesante ya que puede ser un tema generalizado, pero a la vez puede variar dependiendo de las diferentes clases socials existentes. Hablaremos por lo tanto del protopipo de las mamas hispanas.
Para nosotras una mamá representa una imagen dulce pero firme y fuerte en sus convicciones y es el ejemplo y la guía a seguir. Todavía en la actualidad prevalence la influencia de las abuelitas con sus tradiciones bastante conservadoras con las que crecieron, con un sin fin de prohibiciones y tabues y con una dosis de sobreprotección pero siempre cariñosas ya que la mujer en sus epocas no podia trabajar, debía estar siempre en casa al cuidado de el esposo, los hijos. Al mismo tiempo se encargaba de atender las necesidades de la casa y de la alimentación de la familia, hacer las compras y por las tardes atender diferentes actividades de formación que no impartían en las escuelas como era recibir formación espiritual, aprender actividades musicales, practicar deportes, aprender manualidades, etc.
Así, se formaron diferentes tipos de personalidad de hijas como: las sumisas, obedientes y dependientes pero sin una personalidad propia, o las fuertes, firmes y rígidas, aparecen también las mamas cariñosas y flexdibles educando no por imposición sino por convicción y algunas emprendedoras y rebeldes queriendo romper con los protopipos de mujer ya establecidos hasta el momento. Para entonces ya la mujer comienza a salir de la casa, a educarse más y a trabajar ejerciendo sus carreras, pero no debían descuidar sus obligación en casa y siempre apoyadas en la familia para atender a sus hijos y el tiempo que se les brinda a los hijos debe de ser de calidad infundiendo en ellos los mismos valores aprendidos como son: la fé en Dios y en ellos mismos, el amor, la responsabilidad, la honestidad, etc. para ser gente de bien y dando siempre lo major de sí mismos. Recordemos que lo que nosotros damos es en gran parte reflejo de lo que recibimos de nuestras madres.
Las hijas hispanas, estamos super orgullosas de nuestras madres de sus principios y sus valores de su paciencia, resistencia e inmenso amor hacia nosotras. No juzgamos sus errores o fracasos ya que las herramientas con que ellas contaban eran muy limitadas, pero sí aprendimos de sus sufrimientos a ser diferentes aprovechando nuestras raices, valores y convicciones para formar a nuestros hijos crando una nueva generación.
Un sinónimo de peyorativo que se me hace bastante claro es “desfavorable” y eso es lo que siento que no le ayuda mucho a la palabra “sucias” para referirse a estas chicas. un ejemplo claro de que la etiqueta no les favorece sería el de Elizabeth. Es una joven según se nos describió en la novela muy hermosa y trabajadora, carismática y muy buena amiga. Sin embargo todo su éxito es puesto en peligro por la connotación de “suciedad” dentro de sus preferencias sexuales. Parece ser que ella misma vive atemorizada en el closet ya que cree que no solo toda la gente que la conoce en televisión, sino que aún sus propias amigas que la conocen de corazón, van a rechazar sus inblinaciones lésbicas.
Otro ejemplo es el de Usnavys que yo creo que más que “sucia” es una chica irreprimible, a que no le gusta ser frenada, sobre todo cuando se trata de obstaculizar sus muchas ambiciones. Quizá sería mucho mas correcto llamarla a ella “ambiciosa” (que no siempre esto es malo) a “sucia”.
Que tal Amber? Para mi ella es una de las menos”sucias”. A esta chica yo la sentí auténtica en su muy mas bien “diferente” forma de pensar. Ella se sintió identificada con sus raíces Mexicas y trata al máximo se ser congruente a ellas, al grado de inclusive cambiar su nombre a Cuicatl.
Rebecca, una “luchona” más que “sucia”. Alcanza logros increíbles con su creatividad en la revista Ella y quizá su única yo le llamaría “debilidad” es vivir una relación mediocre al lado de un hombre al que no entiende.
Lauren Fernandez. En cuanto a Lauren yo creo que aunque al igual que Rebecca no cuenta con un buen hombre a su lado, lo cual no habla muy bien de ninguna mujer que se jacte de ser inteligente, en muchas otras cosas es también muy exitosa. Quizá al principio ser un poco “mentirosilla” la hace sentir culpable o sucia, por ejemplo cuando miente al decir que domina un español fluído cuando en realidad solo cuenta con un vocabulario muy limitado.
La última y menos “sucia” a mi criterio, Sara. Pobre Sarita. Ella quiso intentar todo lo contrario a ser “sucia” siendo muy “perfecta”. Se esforzó increíblemente por lograr (y si no por lo menos aparentar) tener una vida ideal. Casa, esposo, vida social, etc. Sin embargo la parte de el esposo le falló terriblemente y para mi más que “sucia” terminó siendo una pobre “víctima” de abuso familiar.
En fin, el libro me gustó, solo que me parece impresisa la imagen mental que viene a mi mente cuando pienso en una mujer “sucia” comparada a las aventuras, sinsabores o simples atropellos que vivien este grupo de mujeres jóvenes y “muy modernas”.
In Mario Vargas Llosa’s book, The Bad Girl, the force of man’s love for a extremely free-spirited woman never expires. Lily in their home country Peru captivated the main character Ricardo. Ricardo always remembers Lily for being an awesome dancer, and an intriguing person. He knew that it was not just her simple beauty but also something about chasing her, made him love her more and more.
Since the beginning of the book, the character of Lily was not innocent. Lily lied to him by saying she was from Chile, she was ashamed of being a poor girl in Peru. Well years later pass, and Ricardo was working as translator in Paris. To his surprise and happiness, he encounters Lily in Paris. But Lily had changed her name. They were able to have a short-lived relationship that was halted by her work. Ricardo advised her to put her work first and he will wait for her return to Paris. Some years later pass by, and this time she is back. Now the Peruvian girl is back as a married woman. She married a rich European guy that provides her money and therefore she stopped working.
Even though, there was a repetitive cycle, the book was not easy to put down. I had to keep reading to know what Ricardo will do every time the ‘Bad girl’ would come back to him. She for sure made clear that she was after money; love was not something she was looking for. Ricardo tried to prove her wrong, and all time she failed him by tossing him aside.
In class, we discussed the title and the meaning that it sends to people. True, Llosa did put this title to classify some women. What kind of women? For sure, the girl was not a submissive, simple, or a traditional kind of woman. She was doing whatever she wanted with her life. She was going to be independent when she wanted or she was going to get married to whomever she wanted. The flaw she had was that she did not want to love. Since she did not want to be emotional, she was “bad” and -well she had to suffer at some point in her life.
-RA
Como el dicho en Mexico va: “Como agua para chocolate” – the meaning is that something is or will be done with a strong emotion- usually referring to passion. The title does serve well to the movie. In the movie Like Water for chocolate, we can clearly see how the attractions of Tita and Pedro are throughout their time. Their love story could be somewhat atypical for viewer in today’s societies in the U.S. A tough Mexican widow dictates the lives of her daughters. Since Tita is the youngest, she will have to be single and take care of her mother.
Tita has to put her desire and plans aside, or does she? Well she does not. Although the man she loves marries her sister, they were able to live together. Now that can be bad, but both actually could love in secrecy. The mother was very upset with Tita’s way of being. At times, it was as if the mother was angry with her own daughters. Her daughters, especially Tita, was able to have her lover near her. While the stern and ‘cold’ mother had in the past, a true love that could never be. Not only the mother’s past true love forbidden but he had die or been killed. But most women had to settle for what it was dictated by their parents and accept their fate. Tita was not going to be another woman to settle with what tradition dictated for her. In the movie, she has to learn to be a defiant daughter and woman.
The movie had plenty of surrealistic imagery that helped in telling the story of Tita. Some of the imagination or surrealistic details in the book sounded too amazing, but were a great addition in the movie. As a movie, we cannot get hung up on this; it does have a heavy entertainment value. It can literary show some of the old saying of people. The fantasies portrayed, were able to show the strong desires of the lovers; their strength and passion of their love until their deaths.
-RA
Now reading the book of Esquivel, Como Agua Para Chocolate, gives great insight as to why the movie was made; to show the passion of Tita and her lover, Pedro. Tradition still is the basis to the book and the movie. The book uses food recipes that have been in a family for many decades to tell a forbidden love story. However, the main purpose is the realization of the young women and breaks the tradition that is limiting their lives.
The story starts with a single mother with 3 girls that were of marrying age. The option of love for the youngest girl, Tita, was not one. The Mother had decided that Tita would live to serve her until she dies. Pedro was in love with Tita, but had to marry her older sister. The two lovers could not enjoy their love in the eyes of society. The mother had a lot of influence over her daughters. Doña Elena had already decided the lives to be lived by her daughters. Except that, Tita had other plans in her mind for herself.
The book loads itself in a traditional history of Mexico. Knowing and hearing the typical life of the old revolutionary times for Mexican women can be boring. Yet realizing how far along in society women have come can be an awakening to most. In a sense, the ‘American’ women might have been more outspoken sooner than Mexican women might have been in the past. ‘A way to get to a man’s heart is through his stomach’, Tita certainly proved this old saying to be true. The story told in this movie, desires to illustrate that step of independence for Mexican women.
-RA
Does Love exist? Does it…??? And if it does how can you tell if it’s real love? From this movie we can get ideas as to why we can think and feel love. They did a pretty good job at presenting some situations that most can experience. The one night stand is something that is becoming more common among young people. The simplicity of intercourse with others is now more accepted with a growing number of people. To the public, sex is now just sex. Before the notion of making love was of being intimate with someone you were in love.
Now to understand real love and know how to recognize it can be the tricky part. The beginning will be the known attraction of course that two people have then is interacting with each other. Other biological steps follow like sensors, hormones, reactions that happen through the senses of sight and smell- reactions detected in the brain, neurons, substances release and blah blah blah…
The movie wanted to reinforced that, it has been scientifically proved that there are certain sensory- chemical reactions that have to happen to know there are the feelings of love. Now knowing cannot be easily understood- if some people do not even understand themselves how are they to identify love? No matter what-> ‘One for sure will know’ if they are in love. Then follows the bigger question to ponder- if True Love exists? What to do? On this one personally I will be more pessimistic, pretty much now I don’t think that it does. Even the main character had that thinking- well he had just mostly questions/ doubts that needed answers. Surely, questioning can be also understood as a pessimistic attitude- right?
One conclusion the movie has, is that we have to accept that love does not have to last forever. But being content with a person that will understand your needs and being able to live together can be sufficient for two people. Almost everyone knows that love is not easy to find it. For me, I can only hope to recognize real love….It seems that the movie ended with a more conformist view of love.
-RA
